A friend of mine sent me a messaged this morning. She, like many of us (myself included), has struggled with overcoming self doubt, standing strong in knowing her worth, and building her self trust. All of the stories that have been fabricated over her life, came from what she has experienced. Small, big, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes the smallest things have the biggest impact on us. But all of those experiences lead to stories, which lead to beliefs, which lead to manifesting more experiences that created more stories and proved her beliefs to be true. All of these reflected in her self worth, trust, and belief. These limitations surrounding her identity have made it seem very difficult for her to stay motivated, inspired, and having faith in herself, her dreams, and her goals.
She said to me “My goal is just to have time and financial freedom it’s not too much to ask I just wanna live my life”
“Traveling and a house projects will come when I get the time and financial freedom I’m looking for”
No one can give you time and financial freedom… or anything you want, other than YOU. It doesn’t just magically find you one day either. And everyday we wake up we are living our lives, it’s up to US how we DECIDE to live.
After a few other messages back and forth, this was my response that I wanted to share with you:
“You need to believe you are capable and worthy of what you want for yourself and your life, because if you’re in the process and you’re working towards it…you’re more likely to do the work and the things it takes to keep bringing it closer to you. Then it’s already on route, YOU’RE already on route. But if you’re still in the mindset of “well i don’t have it yet” “it’s not here” “I’m still looking for it”, it’s always going to be held at a destination.. a destination that will always be out of your reach. You can be in the process of getting there NOW! The time it takes to get to that destination depends on your belief in it, your belief in you, and your actions being in alignment with what you’re wanting to move towards! You can be taking action and thinking you’re moving towards the destination…but if the thoughts and actions, aren’t aligned with the you that’s already at the destination, you’re guiding yourself in the wrong direction, making the journey longer and feel harder. But that’s okay, it doesn’t mean we can’t turn back around, and learn to get back on track. We can’t be hard on ourselves because if it’s happening, it’s happening… And we get to use it for our growth.”
The journey will only make us stronger, because the truth is, there is no final destination. Once we reach our goals, there will always be more to overcome, more to gain, more to create, to learn from. We are forever traveling to evolve.
We are all worthy and capable of creating a life we love. All it takes is a decision. Now that may seem easy, but deciding to overcome the fear, limitations, anxiety, excuses, or the doubts that may come with deciding, are not always easy to overcome. But that’s how we get there, in the words of Susan Jeffers “Feel the fear, and do it anyway.”
Before I sign off on this entry, I’d like to quickly circle back to the stories my friend had created about herself BECAUSE of her experiences in life. I believe it has everything to do with the identity we create and limitations we put on ourselves. We ALL do this, whether the story is in our favour or not, we have all created stories around what the circumstances or events we’ve experienced in our lives mean about us.
Here’s a personal example of what I’m talking about:
When I was in 9th grade, I almost failed English class. Yes, you read that write…Ah! gotcha…*RIGHT!
No, it wasn’t because I couldn’t spell. In fact, the majority of my grades were great! But…my final grade was a 53% which JUST allowed me to pass without having to attend summer school. So why did I almost fail? I didn’t show up to class to hand in or present my final project. A project that was worth a VERY larger percentage of my overall grade. My friend that I did the project with was on a last minute trip to freaking Disney Land. Of course, she had the presentation on her computer, and I had no way of getting it. Being the young, introverted teen that I was, I was actually relieved. I HATED public speaking, especially by myself, and I knew my grades we’re good enough to still pass. So I skipped class and pretended like it never happened.
This is a distinct memory in my life where I recall deciding that I was okay with just getting by, doing the bare minimum to stay average, even though I was capable of WAY more. I started to identify with this experience, I started to believe that my highest capability was just getting by and I made excuses for myself to stay there.
Guess what? The identities I created for myself from that experience, started reflecting in other areas of my life, for most of my life. Making my past equal my present, and spill into my future. Just like my friend that messaged me today, I didn’t believe in myself, I didn’t trust myself, so didn’t even try to taking the necessary steps to being or getting more than average. & vice versa… I didn’t take the necessary steps to more; therefore, only perpetuation my lack of self belief, worth, and trust. It’s something I STILL work at redefining, but I know now that I can, and I have SO much! Like I said, there is no final destination.
If I could give you 1 piece of advice, it would be:
Don’t let your past, equal your future…because it does NOT, unless YOU let it.